The issue was the things that he isn't comfortable with my doing. Some are boundary issues, some are his issues. I said if I didn't try out things that make me uncomfortable I would have a very narrow life. He said he does so in his life, but not in his work (in therapy). I said that is a lousy role model and he said don't take what he does as a role model.
But that is how it works. And it has to be real.