kindness of strangers

I was very depressed yesterday, I think feelings stirred up by the question of whether we should be looking at still better schools for my daughter. If we go up another level we would be talking about Concord Academy, where I went as a day student, or someplace like Andover or Exeter or St. Paul's. When I was in college I didn't want to be associated with the preppies and I used to think I wasn't the worst kind of preppie, at least I didn't go to Andover or Exeter. But my daughter wants to go to a school where she won't be the smartest kid in her classes or the only one who likes to read and talk about ideas.

I swam yesterday morning and that helped my depression a little, and then took a bike ride in the afternoon and that helped more. I didn't have the heart to ride very fast, but when I reached the point where the ride turned back towards home I discovered it was very windy, I just hadn't noticed because the wind was at my back. So I got a good workout despite myself. This morning I slept through my alarm but decided to go ahead to the sunrise service even though I was going to be half an hour late, because I do like the Great Vigil of Easter. I got there just in time for the Easter Acclamation. After church and breakfast I headed out for a bike ride, on a route I haven't ridden in months. I got hungrier and hungrier and I decided to stop and get some real food when I went through the town of Central after about 28 miles.

I went into Panchos and ordered three chicken tacos to go. There are some benches outside and the weather was beautiful--I was happy to sit outside and eat. The manager who took my money told me it I should sit down and eat, it was better for me. I said I didn't think I was in proper condition to sit down in a restaurant after riding 30 miles. He said no, no, it was fine, sit down and he would get me some chips. So I sat and enjoyed a quick lunch. I had 5 more miles to ride home with two tough hills, but the first couple of miles of that is mostly down hill, the tough hills are in the last three miles.

tired

To Philadelphia Saturday, back Monday night after visiting Westtown School. Spent Tuesday afternoon meeting with a new colleague. Wednesday after my class my daughter and I drove to Sewanee Tenn. to visit St. Andrews--Sewanee. Spent Thursday morning at the school then drove home, getting home in time for the Maundy Thursday service with footwashing. I felt moved to sign up for the vigil at the cross, and had a choice of 2-3 am or 3-4 am. I picked 2-3 am, then did go back to sleep again but woke up in time to go to the 7 am morning prayer service. Prepared and taught my class then met with a boarding school consultant. I'm actually going to go run as soon as my supper settles a little, but then I will crash. I'm happy, actually, because I thought I would be too busy with my daughter to experience Holy Week but it has been meaningful and I was able to get to a service three days out of the five (usually I go every day).

boarding schools

In between my classes I'm vising boarding schools with my daughter, as this is her vacation week. Westtown School was very impressive: it is a Quaker school founded in 1799 and I was impressed by how they take their Quaker values seriously.

menopause is like being 14 again

Actually it is less so than I had feared--with all the exercise I am doing I don't notice mood swings. But today I had a flood--I left my office to go teach my class and found I had blood stains running down the front of my pants legs. And I was wearing olive green pants. I had a sweater and a t shirt in my office, but no pants or shorts. If the problem had been in the back I might have tied a sweater around my waist, but I couldn't think of any way to make myself presentable with what I had.

I made a quick decision about a documentary I could show part of, went and asked my teaching assistants to start the class and show the documentary, and ran to my car and went home and changed. I got to class only 15 minutes late. I'm never going to be without a change of pants in my office again.

The medical solution to this problem sounds awfully drastic--I'm hoping I can just outwait it.

confusing

Last week on Tuesday I kept coughing after exerting myself swimming, and I felt like my lungs were congested. It was the first day I was bothered by pollen, so I figured my mild allergic reaction to the pollen was putting me into exercise induced asthma. I am prone to chronic coughs after a cold and my doctor had said that was a form of asthma and prescribed an albuterol inhaler. I used the inhaler before exercise the rest of last week and the first part of this week, and was fine. I was just depressed at the idea that I have another chronic disease--I didn't really count the cough problem as asthma despite what my doctor said.

Yesterday turned into an impromtu experiment. I was hurrying out to run about 4:30 in the afternoon, wanting to do a long run and get back by supper time, and I forgot to use the inhaler. I realized it when I started running, but I decided to see what happened. I was fine; I ran 6.2 miles at a pace just under 12 minutes a mile--significantly faster than I have done before. I didn't use the inhaler this morning before swimming either and I was fine (though a bit draggy after the long run).

I was supposed to have a doctor's appointment today, but I had to postpone it (for female reasons--it was my annual checkup). I was looking forward to asking the doctor about this whole asthma thing. Am I allergic to a particular kind of pollen that has gone by? Did I just overreact to something random? Did my lungs settle back down with a week of less irritation? I have good air purifiers at home and in my office. It is confusing.

March totals

swimming: 15 workouts for 19 hours
biking: 9 workouts for 173 miles in 14 hours
running: 14 workouts for 61.5 miles in 13 hours 13 min.

travel

I was in Detroit Friday to Sunday for a meeting of the Executive Council of the Society for the History of Technology. This trip wasn't as exhausting as many are, perhaps just because it was shorter. I did also make an effort to keep up my training. We were staying on campus, so I swam before dinner on Saturday and ran in the arboretum early Sunday morning. Combine that with long meetings and trying to get enough sleep and I hardly had a minute to myself, but I think it helped my stress level.

I got home and hurried to make a flourless chocolate cake for my daughter's birthday. Ingredients are 1 lb. chocolate, 1 cup butter, and 8 eggs, using this recipe. It is actually very low carb for a dessert made without artificial sweetener--using 70% cocoa semisweet chocolate and counting it as 14 servings it comes to 5 grams of carbohydrate per serving.