postal swim meet

I got the preliminary results for the 3,000 yard swim I did. I get the prize for bravery in participating--the slowest time posted (at least among the women). I didn't previously have a record of my final time; it was 1:26:55. I did the first 2,000 yards in 59 minutes so my time for the last 1,000 yards (done separately) was 28 minutes. I'm happy with that.

November totals

swim 13 workouts, 15 hours
bike 8 workouts, 21 1/2 hours
run 13 workouts, 47.7 miles (approx. 12 hours)

That is an increase in totals from last month in all three sports. Weekends away and weeks where I didn't get out on the bike during the workweek cut my number of bike workouts, but I got in long rides.

Today my long run was 5.5 miles, and we had done a breaststroke kick set at masters swim practice this morning. My legs were pretty sore by the time my run was done, but nothing that felt like injury.

evolution

We had a good time at St. Christopher's talking with a historian of science who is currently working on science in the heroic age of Antarctic exploration. He has previously written several books on evolution. I was still sitting at brunch when he stopped by to say goodbye. When he had left, the woman sitting next to me said she had seen him quoted (assumably on the subject of evolution) and asked me if he took a Christian approach and talked about creationism. I said he is a Christian who believes in evolution, there are plenty of those. She started to say something and then stopped herself.

what God gives us

Yes, I notice that I left out a line of the Johnny Appleseed grace. It actually says:

And so I thank the Lord
For giving me the things I need:
The sun, the rain and the appleseed;

But then I don't believe that God does give us everything we need, or in Julian of Norwich's words: "All will be well."

I try very hard to believe in God's abundance, particularly in the sense of not seeing life as a zero-sum game. But I also have seen friends who tried so hard to heal and make a life and just kept getting beaten down by more bad things happening. One friend in particular is at peace now, but I don't believe God gave her in her lifetime enough for her to find any way out of terrible suffering, even though she tried so hard for so long.

I don't like the theory that God doesn't intervene because that would take away our free will--follow that to its logical conclusion and you end up believing God never intervenes, and what use is that? I certainly don't believe that God sends us bad experiences for our own good (though we may in the end be able to extract good from them). So I end up believing that God does help us, but not enough. For some reason (something like it causes too much confusion if God goes around violating the laws of nature), God can't help us very much, but God tries and we can look for that.

I don't believe we are necessarily going to get what we need, only that we can focus on what God does give us. Barbara Crafton says today:

Live in the present, but live also in hopeful preparation for good things. That way, your happiness is increased: you get to anticipate delight and then you get to enjoy it.

Now, the reverse isn't true: we're never well served by dreading the future. It just ensures that we will experience every bad thing twice, once before it happens and then again when it does.

It isn't good logic, but looking on the good side I find helpful as a way to live.

long bike ride

I skipped lunch today to take a 50 mile bike ride and had a lovely time. A few stretches were on busy roads but by going that far I got to the prettiest country roads. A turf farm is rather a funny sight--all those fields of lawn. I also went out before breakfast on the beach with my daughter on the kids' mountain bikes. It was very beautiful.

thankful

We are at St. Christophers for Thanksgiving for the third year. I got up about 6:30 this morning and ran on the beach. I saw dolphins and pelicans and the sun rising out of the water. I ran 5 miles for the first time, here where I first started running a year and a half ago. I was very thankful. For a while a Thanksgiving song ran through my head:

The Lord is good to me
And so I thank the Lord
For the sun and the rain and the apple seed
The Lord is good to me.

After brunch I went for a two hour bike ride, but that was as much as I was going to enjoy. A beautiful day but windy, and my legs were tired.

frustration

The trouble with having release time to do administrative work (organizing the STS program) is that administrative work comes in much smaller pieces than teaching so I feel like I am juggling many more balls and not keeping track of them all. I got lots of bits done today but I have a feeling there are more I am missing. I need the stress relief of running and didn't go out this morning because of cold rain. It has hardly rained here all fall; I've forgotten I can run in the rain. I need to go to a lecture at 5:30--I don't know whether I will try to go out and run later this evening. It won't be any darker than at 5:30 am.