Maybe I should see being a caregiver as a chance to develop a side of me that has been relatively weak. But I have a very strong reaction that I refuse to go gentle into that good night. So I'm stuck in a situation where I resent the role I have to play and what I have had to give up of my own plans for these years. I've struggled with my resentment for several years now, and I don't find a way to work through it and make it go away.
So I'm trying a different approach. Often our painful feelings are there for a good reason. It is the force of growth inside us that makes being stuck so painful. So I'm trying to look at it from the perspective that I'm glad I feel resentment and other painful feelings. If I didn't, I wouldn't have so clear an impulse in me to lead me to growth and healing. I want to learn to let the feelings live, even make friends with them.
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