Thursday, August 31, 2006

Ruth


What was shared in my spiritual directors peer group today brought my friend Ruth, who died in 2002, up so strongly in my mind. We want so much to believe that when someone is in a bad situation it will eventually come out for the best. But sometimes it doesn't, at least in this life. Sometimes people experience more pain (emotional and physical) than they are able to handle and it breaks them. The other members of the group wanted to believe that a situation will come out for the best, but I don't have that faith.

3 comments:

Stillwater Heron said...

I don't know the Ruth's story but I can share a bit about my own dark night of the soul..and I'm almost ashamed to say that I've had more than one.
One in my youth and one as an adult.
What saved me the first time was while standing deep in the ditch of pain that threatened to cover my head and end my life a stranger smiled at me.
A smile from his soul.
I realized in that breif moment that I wanted to live.
Just like a story out of a book.
I smile at strangers alot...
The second time, after several people I cared for passed over in a breif period of time, and 9/11 happened, I almost had a total breakdown.
"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death..."
A very rough time that took years to pass out of.
I am learning not to push the pain away so much.
I am learning that pain is as sacred as joy.
I am learning that pain won't kill me if I don't want it to.
I am learning to accept pain and joy just like I do the weather.
Both come and go, and I am still here, wet or dry, but still here...

Pem said...

What you are learning is beautiful, Stillwater Heron. Thank you.

At the time of her death I wrote of Ruth:
"It was so hard for Ruth to believe that she was acceptable to God that I want to tell her again how much she did God's work in the world. She wrote me in November 1999 words that describe for me what she gave me: 'When you can see the depths of your own wounds, you can also see how wondrous is the balm, maybe not yet healing, but soothing. And yes, it is, I know beyond all doubt, God that passes between two people when an act of kindness comes just as you need it, when someone truly understands, when hearts speak and hear in spite of the inadequacy of words.' Ruth's wisdom and love and support have sustained me in my healing process and I will miss her terribly. She faced so much pain so bravely. She gave so much."

Stillwater Heron said...

The wonder and unbelivablity is that God is in all of us.
At all times, in all ways.
God was in Ruth.
And she spoke for Him...
And He to us..