amazing what people do

There is a bicycling sport called cyclocross, on terrain so difficult that you have to run carrying your bicycle in sections. But looking at some pictures, the people who really impressed me were the ones doing the course on unicycles.

Listening for the Heartbeat of God

I'm reading this book by Phillip Newell for Sunday School. I had never before run across the image of John the beloved disciple leaning against Jesus at the Last Supper and listening to the heartbeat of God. See John 13:23--modern translations have changed the meaning but the King James is closer to a literal translation: "Now there was leaning on Jesus' bosom one of his disciples, whom Jesus loved." Newell stresses seeing God in the natural world, which isn't very useful to me because it is where I started. I like the image of listening for the heartbeat of God as an ideal for human closeness. Newell also writes of the idea that every baby is born in the image of God. I'm still thinking about that one.

scattered

Yesterday was consumed by the Dean's visitation to the history department. Today was consumed by observing a class and writing a teaching evaluation for a colleague's post-tenure review. More worthy of note is that today I actually got to the point where I can breathe every three strokes when swimming freestyle.

a rock

I was struck by some lines from a Wallace Stevens poem:

It is not enough to cover the rock with leaves.
We must be cured of it by a cure of the ground
Or a cure of ourselves, that is equal to a cure

Of the ground, a cure beyond forgetfulness.
And yet the leaves, if they broke into bud,
If they broke into bloom, if they bore fruit,

And if we ate the incipient colorings
Of their fresh culls might be a cure of the ground.

and later:

In this plenty, the poem makes meanings of the rock,
Of such mixed motion and such imagery
That its barrenness becomes a thousand things

And so exists no more. This is the cure
Of leaves and of the ground and of ourselves.
His words are both the icon and the man.

swimming

Today the main event at swim practice was 5 individual medleys--for each one I was doing one length of the pool butterfly, one backstroke, one breaststroke, and one freestyle--alternating with 5 100 yard freestyles (most of the others were doing 200 yards). I kept thinking of Samuel Johnson:

"Sir, a woman's preaching is like a dog's walking on his hind legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to find it done at all."

I'm impressed I can do it at all.

personal philosophy

I was struggling to find a positive way of looking at something I was feeling badly about, and I came up with a statement of goal:

I want to be worthy of trust.

That is useful to me because I easily fall into feeling that I am bad if I make a mistake, but one can make mistakes and still be worthy of trust.

not feeling deprived

If I'm going to eat to control my diabetes for the rest of my life, I believe it is important to not build up feeling deprived. Yesterday my bicycling group had a "Ride for the Chocolate," only it rained so the ride part was cancelled. I did go to the pool and swim for 40 minutes as my workout for the day. I took my favorite chocolate dessert to the party--a flourless chocolate cake from the Cooks Illustrated The Best Recipe cookbook. The ingredients are bittersweet chocolate, butter and eggs, nothing else, so it is relatively low carb (particularly because I use 70% cocoa bittersweet chocolate).

There was a light supper before the desserts--I skipped the soup and ate meat and cheese rolled up together. For dessert I ate mostly my cake and fresh fruit dipped in chocolate sauce, which tasted very good. I looked at the other desserts and decided the one I most wanted a small piece of was a white cake with a strawberry filling--a smart person had made something without chocolate for variety.

After an hour my blood glucose was 137, after two hours 105. This morning my fasting bg was 95. I had my treat without my bg going over my goals. My glucose tolerance is better than it was 9 months ago--just losing weight didn't work but more intense exercise has made a difference.

An essay I wrote about my experiences is on The Health Care Blog.