Friday, January 21, 2011


My husband is in the very early stages of dementia--he still makes his own plans, though he moves too slowly to do much and he gets confused sometimes. Eight months or so ago he started to go with me to some monthly church suppers where people talk about their lives, and I wasn't too happy because he told me I couldn't talk about my frustrations with him. But he tends to isolate himself, so I decided he needed that group more than I did and I would do it his way. The group is meeting tonight, and he said several weeks ago he did want to go.

He has had some swelling in his legs that got worse, so the doctor wrote him a prescription for a diuretic. He got the prescription today. He told me yesterday that he had decided not to go to the dinner today because of the effects of starting the diuretic. That seemed reasonable. But when I called him this afternoon, he said he was going to postpone the first dose of diuretic and go out to dinner with some friends of his. I'm so angry, but there is no point in expressing it at him when he is no longer capable of learning to be more thoughtful.

Our son meanwhile flunked out of one college and then did really well at a second college last spring. He had some problems in the fall because he missed a week with the flu, but we hoped the spring would be better. But he didn't show up for a meeting with his academic coach yesterday and isn't answering his phone or email last night or today.

My therapist's office messed up and gave someone else an appointment next week that I had sent them two emails saying I wanted. They can give me another one not as good, but it does feel like my safety net is unreliable.

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