We went to the neurologist last week and talked mostly about John's partial loss of use of his good hand, which was supposed to get better (it supposedly resulted from falling asleep in a desk chair and compressing the nerve). It has gotten only a tiny bit better, though I notice the last few days John is doing some things he had said he couldn't do, such as taking out the trash. The neurologist said recovery definitely is slower than it should be, and he was concerned by how the muscles in John's arm have wasted. He wanted John to get electrical stimulation at the physical therapists office first, and if that doesn't work in a couple of weeks he will try a cortisone shot in the elbow.
John's massage therapist is concerned it might have been a mini-stroke. I'm not following that up because I don't think the therapy would be any different and I am not up for a new round of doctors right now.
I'm tired of cutting John's food up for him, and this is only the beginning of the journey of helping him with activities of daily living. Caregiving does not come easily or naturally to me.
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4 comments:
Dear Pam, It's ok to be tired of cutting up his meat already. You know you are on a long road and that it isn't going to get any easier. Who wouldn't resent things getting to this point quite this early? The point is that it's the illness and not John that is turning things upside-down for you both. I hope you feel that if you do your best, that's the most you can do. Everyone gets tired, frustrated and even angry sometimes; we all make mistakes, say things that we don't mean, and make the wrong choices sometimes. You are one of us -- human. I wish you much strength and patience for the coming time.
For me, cutting up my dad's meat was a very symbolic thing. It speaks indelibly of a parent-child relationship and when those roles are new or reversed, it is uncomfortable for all involved. For what it's worth, the initial horror of having to cut Paw's meat eventually softened over time. These days, I serve everything Japanese-style (i.e., anything that needs cutting I cut in the kitchen with a big knife before I serve it). It lessens Paw's embarrassment and is so much easier to do than bending over him struggling with his utensils. When at a restaurant, I ask that they serve his meat already cut up. No one has ever refused.
Thankless is a smart and caring daughter!!! Very good advise for all of us to copy.
Di
Thankless is a smart and caring daughter!!! Very good advise for all of us to copy.
Di
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