It is so hard to draw the line of the help that is wanted but not needed.
- being resented for giving help that's needed but not wanted
- getting run ragged trying to give help that is wanted but not needed
- wasting everyone's time by providing help which is neither wanted nor needed (although it never seems so at the time).
I also like the idea of being an elderly lady in training. I feel like I'm having to learn early lessons about letting go of control over my life that most people face at the end of life. And since my grandmother and her sister died of Alzheimer's the long slow way I do keep asking myself what would I want.
I'm thinking a lot about letting go of control and letting go of validating myself by what I achieve (the program I have spent the last five years building may get killed because of budget cuts). There isn't much sense of achievement available in caregiving, it is more like a losing battle against the forces of entropy.