Meeting together with the therapist today, John complained that I don't tell him things. I talked about wanting him to show more empathy. When I do tell him something he asks questions and I feel pressured to have answers to his questions. I don't feel he is trying at all to imagine what it feels like, to put himself in my shoes. Ten years ago he was better at that, though it was an easier situation for him--I was dealing with issues from my childhood that didn't bring up any particular pain in him.
I talked about how painful it is to have the program I built at work at risk at the same time that I'm increasingly focused on caregiving, which doesn't involve achieving anything lasting. I said the only accomplishments that come out of caregiving are spiritual ones and there I feel so alone because he isn't interested in finding meaning in the journey we are on. I mentioned a book and he said he wanted to read it, but I'm not optimistic because he has read nothing I have given him except Grayboy's book.
I don't know if any of this is actually still possible for him or if I am doing nothing but setting myself up for disappointment.