Saturday, October 04, 2008

weekend

This is my last weekend at home for about a month. Our son is home from boarding school for a long weekend, but he mostly wants to veg out (play on the internet). When my husband was away for a week I had a chance to get into the flow of my time being my own. And I'm realizing I can do that even when I'm not alone, my life is different than when we had small kids. (Particularly when it is my husband's week to cook.)

So after a lovely bike ride with some friends this morning, I've been working through some piles of my stuff in the bedroom. But I've been working for five or ten minutes, then reading blogs for a while, then working on other projects (including my son's laundry). It isn't efficient but it is nice not to feel pressed, to work only as long as I feel like. I've gotten some things done that I've avoided for a long time.

But what should I do with this??

It is a costume I made for a ritual I did probably about 8 years ago (I wore bike shorts underneath). That ritual was an important first step in coming to accept my body. If I hadn't done that work (and followed up with a movement therapist for a couple of years) I wouldn't have been able to transform myself when I was diagnosed with diabetes and become an athlete.

I don't have any pictures of the ritual--I have the costume and a long scarf I made (five 3x3 ft. thin silk scarves sewed in a line into a rainbow). I suppose the scarf is enough to remember it by but it is hard to let go of the costume.







2 comments:

Joann said...

With things that are holy, most of the time we burn them or bury them. I wonder if you couldn't burn it and take the ashes over to the parish garden? You could even same some of the ashes if you wanted to. That's a LOT more compact.

Just a thought.

estelbowtime said...

Hey...I make a point of keeping symbolic items until I feel ready to let them go. Some items I've actually moved for the last 11 years...never used them...but still needed them in my life in some way. Many of those things I was able to let go with this move to New Brunswick...those I could not...are still with me. There is a reason we hold on to symbols in our lives...a deeply personal choice...for each of us to deal with in our own way....will update my own blog this week....JK