Saturday, August 23, 2008

one back to school

We took our son to his senior year of boarding school yesterday. I started to cry when we met with the college counsellor. I feel like worry about John's and my future has distracted me from helping our son with deciding about colleges. He was supposed to write a draft of an essay this summer, but he didn't even start it. I did remind him a few times, which leads to the other time I cried, talking to his advisor, worrying whether he will learn to step up and take responsibility for himself.

I'm hoping that pushing our son to take more resonsibility for himself because of his father's illness is coming at a time when the challenge is right for him. But I worry that it must be awfully hard for an 18 year old boy to have his father beginning not to be a father figure any more. His sister is younger but more resilient and more able to talk about what she is feeling. The idea that this is going to be hard but we are all in it together as a family works for her.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Stella here--
Oh, Pam, I recognize the feeling of not helping the son enough. There is a difference between boys and girls, as a general rule. So, maybe you dropped the ball one time, big deal. Look at all the other things you gave him this summer! You gave him time with his father. Who knows what next summer will bring but for now it was the right thing. The essay will be taken care of one way or another. I think you will be surprised at the maturity your son will gain during this next semester. Have faith.