John came through last night—he not only made dinner but cleaned up afterwards. I slept pretty well but was still groggy in the morning. And my eye still hurt when I blinked--the medicine didn't seem to be helping at all. I called around until I found an ophthalmologist who could see me, but he didn’t see anything wrong. He didn’t deny what I was reporting entirely—he said it was probably the beginning of a stye. But it still felt like another experience of my pain not being seen and believed. I haven’t had a stye in 20 years or more, but it makes sense as something that might be a result of stress (particularly as I don’t ever wear makeup, which is the other thing that can cause styes).
John got focused today on flies. The house has a screened porch that connects the two parts of the house, and there were a number of flies inside trying to get out. First John wanted to leave the kitchen door shut on a lovely sunny morning so no flies would get into the house. Then he broke a large bottle of homemade olive oil and balsamic vinegar salad dressing trying to kill a fly. Then he drove into town solely for the purpose of buying a flyswatter. Punding here we come. But I don't think it is the result of too much levidopa, as such behavior was growing worse before John started medication.
I wish he would think about what we might do to enjoy the day instead. I suggested to our daughter that she would have to motivate us if she wanted to go to the beach. She and her brother took a walk on the beach alone (I was just back from the doctor and helping my mother with a car). I would have been happy to go out on the boat if someone else had gotten us moving. But with the kids taking a vacation from their ADD medication I can’t really expect them to do it.
We have friends coming tomorrow for one night. It happens to be my birthday, though I am trying to ignore it. My mother said I am too young to want to ignore my birthday. I’ve never been unhappy about getting older, but right now I don’t want to think about my birthday because I feel like my future has been taken away from me.