Thanks for all the support in response to yesterday's post, both in the comments and by email (pam55sc at gmail). It helped a lot. I'm going to start making a list of John's long-term behaviors that I think are making this harder (such as listening to books on tape all the time). I gave up on getting him to change those things long ago, and I doubt he will change now when he is becoming even more set in his routines. But at least if I show such a list to doctors they will understand more.
Yesterday was frantic getting ready to leave on a trip, but no disasters so far (except in trying to move things to a new laptop I may have lost 2 years of logs of my running, swimming, and biking). I had arranged for John to get all his prescriptions refilled at once, so hopefully he can't mess up what he brings if everything is already in one bag. I will be traveling the next few days so I may not post every day. I should have more time once we are on Cape Cod, at least until we leave on our big trip.