ending

I worked very intensely with a therapist in North Carolina for almost seven years, starting in Feb. 1996. When he partially retired three and a half years ago he told me I would have to find someone else. At first he wanted that to be a clean ending, but in we eventually worked out ending the therapy relationship but continuing to meet once a month for an hour (we called it spiritual direction). He was uncertain at first whether that was a good idea, but it turned out to be a lovely thing not just so I didn't feel rejected but to be able to go back and revisit what I had learned with him.

I did move on. The next person I saw didn't work out, but now I have another therapist I can do the deep work with. I hadn't thought anyone else would be able to go as deep with me as the person in North Carolina, but I have found someone with whom I can go deeper.

Yesterday I had my last meeting with the person in North Carolina. He is retiring completely now. I am much readier for this ending than I was for the first one, but it is still very sad. I have tried so hard to feel my feelings, but I've still got a very sore shoulder, which my massage therapist says is a classic place for grief to come out.