more thoughts on forgiveness

A friend writes:

I also think you're right about forgiveness being a thing that is covered and rediscovered over and over again. New little pieces of the pain come out like shrapnel in a soldier, years after the war. Each piece has to be integrated into the process and therefore warrants the attention other wounds have gotten. Although thrown back to square one each time, we get faster about processing things as we "practice" the process over and over.

Anger is about being able to defend myself and feeling able to defend my children. I need to know I have that right now. It is also about not blaming myself, something that takes a lot of work.