Blame

I grew up in a family where someone always had to be to blame for everything. I still tend to blame because I can't bear to blame myself. I realize that there is part of forgiveness that I am scared of because if I don't blame the other person then it must be my fault (the letting go of resentment part of forgiveness is easier for me). I'm trying to understand that things just happen, someone doesn't have to be to blame. But I wonder is there some way to put the responsibility on the other person that is better than blame, that can turn away (still carrying all that is precious and wounded) instead of staying entwined.