End of the year questions

 Since Facebook no longer does Notes, I am going to try going back to posting here.

Questions for reflection on the year

 

What was a new discovery you made this year?

--Even very well established knowledge can be looked at in new ways, even by those of us who grew up in the old ways. My favorite example was a webinar on Decolonizing Thoreau.

 

What achievement are you most proud of from this year?

--Speaking out for faculty in more vulnerable positions, particularly about health and safety issues. Also teaching a large class and communicating to my students that I cared about them.

 

What was your favorite purchase of the year and why?

--Warm fleece backed pants. Also a very special jigsaw puzzle from Liberty Puzzles: https://www.libertypuzzles.com/wooden-jigsaw.../ocean-life

 

What was a new habit or routine you created this year that has improved your efficiency at home or work?

--Walking around the block every morning before breakfast. I only miss one or two days a month. Also going to the supermarket only once every two weeks.

 

What did you ask for help with this year where you're glad you did?

--I told my kids I wanted a fuss made over my 65 birthday even though I used to not like birthday celebrations.

 

What's a skill you have learned or gained confidence with this year?

--Growing my own microgreens. More obviously, teaching online.

 

What simple pleasures have you especially enjoyed this year?

--So many! Sunshine in my living room. Foggy mornings. Tea.

 

What's a type of technology you've integrated into your life this year and it's working out well for you?

--Zoom, both for work and family time.

 

What did you change your mind about this year?

--Using group projects in teaching.

 

What did you try that didn't work out, but the process of trying it moved your thinking forward in a helpful way?

--A grant proposal for international virtual exchange (my students will do a group project with students in Germany this spring even though we didn't get the grant).

 

How has what you enjoy shifted this year?

--I definitely have learned to enjoy staying home more.

Elizabeth's wedding planning

Elizabeth and AJ got engaged more than two years before their wedding, so it has been a lot of planning!

They thought about getting married on the 10th anniversary of their first date but settled instead on June 23, 2018.  Definitely wedding season in Massachusetts, so almost all the vendor contracts were made more than a year in advance.

After many conference calls, AJ's parents, Liz and Jamey, arrived with a very full car the Monday before.

Elizabeth and AJ and best man Zach arrived the same day and we started the final organizing and ate Jamey's homemade lobster rolls:

The rest of the wedding party arrived on Wednesday and AJ and his friends had a very successful fishing trip early Thursday morning while Elizabeth and her friends had a spa morning:

The tent went up Thursday:

Friday morning's first priority was a visit to John's grave to leave flowers and pebbles.

 

Road Trip!

A lovely civil rights memorial in Montgomery Alabama where we stopped for dinner the first night, then oysters in Louisiana for lunch the next day.

We stayed in Houston with a friend of John's, who had three kittens!

 

 Some interesting museum sights in Houston:

 We stayed with friends in College Station then visited John's grandfather's grave:

 

In Austin we met up with John's brother and his son by his second marriage 

and sprinkled a little of John's ashes on his parents' grave

 On our way out from Austin to Dallas we stopped at Waco Mammoth National Monument, which is well worth a stop

 A lovely water garden in Fort Worth by Phillip Johnson

This was one of the sights we found on the RoadTrippers app

 

 Two interesting chapels in northwestern Arkansas

 

And then one of our goals, the Crystal Bridges Museum

 

 The civil rights museum was closed on Tuesday but in Memphis we went to a scale model of the Mississippi river and the National Ornamental Metal Museum

We particularly enjoyed the Hampson Museum State Park in Wilson, AR

for beautiful artifacts from Mississipian Native American Cultures

 

 No pictures allowed in the National Quilt Museum, which was excellent, but then we crossed the Ohio river and made a stop in Metropolis

And then on to Olney Illinois

 

 We visited the grave of Aunt Florence's parents (John's maternal grandparents) 

and the remains of the bird sanctuary that had brought him to Olney

And then on to Louisville, where we walked on a footbridge over the river

went to the art museum, and did a Bourbon tour

#accompany me

I have been thinking this last year about building new kinds of community. One theme is the importance of organizations where we feel we belong. But another theme is how might we get away from the pressure our culture puts on us to be independent, either as an individual or as a couple.

After the election, when many vulnerable people feel so much more at risk, I wear a safety pin to say that I will walk with you or accompany you to the bathroom if you feel unsafe. But I would like to see this not as protecting the weak, but as a commitment to community, to being there for each other. How do we build communities where we can all show our vulnerabilities and be seen and valued?

I want to experiment with the idea of seeking someone to accompany me when I have a lonely task. We understand this already with difficult medical appointments, and we seek someone to accompany us. But could it be something we do more often, as a way of spending time with friends and as a way of not feeling so alone? I've posted on Facebook where friends will see that I am looking for someone to help me clear out and sort the papers in my husband's aunt's safe deposit box tomorrow. (She was obsessive about what she saw as important papers.)

The Advent meditation I am following gives this verse for today, from Matthew 24:31:

And he will send out his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other.

The featured meditation yesterday talked about the communion of struggle. How do we commit to valuing all lives? We do that by political work, but we also do that by building community where we know each other more deeply and admit that we are all vulnerable.

So what to do with those angels and their trumpets?  My first reaction is that we need to save ourselves, together, not wait for angels with trumpets to replace this world with a better one. I think that is more in the spirit of the word prompt: STFU.  But in the spirit of Advent when the Messiah is both coming and already here, we also need to understand that we are gathered, here and now, and that the people we don't want to see are part of the elect are with us as well. What steps can we take, in our lives as they are now, to make our communities more open and more supportive? We need that to get through the harsher times that are coming politically.

a prayer I wrote for Advent

Prayer 

  

This Advent, as we prepare for the incarnation, we pray for all the troubles of the world.

  That the arc of history may bend towards peace.

As we prepare for the incarnation, we pray for the leaders of our nation and of all nations.

  That the arc of history may bend towards justice.

As we prepare for the incarnation, we pray for the leaders of all faiths.

  That they will be part of bending the arc of history towards hope.

As we prepare for the incarnation, we pray for our community in Clemson and the Upstate.

  That the arc of history may bend towards caring for each other.

As we prepare for the incarnation, we are grateful for all with which we have been blessed.

  That the arc of history may bend towards joy.

As we prepare for the incarnation, we pray for all who are hurting and struggling.

  That the arc of all our lives may bend towards love. 

As we prepare for the incarnation, we pray for all who have died.

  We entrust them to the arc of God’s love.

[closing collect from the prayer book]
Dear God, accept the fervent prayers of your people; in the multitude of your mercies, look with compassion upon us and all who turn to you for help; for you are gracious, O lover of souls, and to you we give glory, Creator, Son, and Holy Spirit, now and forever. Amen.

Fall bike rides

Tour de Tugaloo, Toccoa GA

• 40.4 miles, 2,078 feet elevation gain, 12.3 mph
• some flat, some parts of the ride had lots of short steep hills

White Squirrel Cycling Classic, Brevard NC

• 40.7 miles, 1,115 feet elevation gain, 13.3 mph
• beautiful agricultural land along the river valleys, only a few hilly sections

Ride for Research, Anderson SC

•  32.3 miles, 1,622 feet elevation gain, 12.1 mph
• windy

Shalom House Ride, Anderson SC

• 43.5 miles, 1,513 feet elevation gain, 12.5 mph
•  some lovely roads

Ride to the Rock, Pickens SC

• 40.1 miles, 3,438 feet elevation gain, 11.1 mph
• constant hills, mostly relatively short but some steep

 Preservation Ride, Chesnee, SC

• 39.8 miles, 2,268 elevation gain, 11.9 mph
• lovely roads the last two thirds, first rest stop at 25 miles

Upstate Forever Preservation ride, 9/17

This was my first charity bike ride since I got back to riding in July. I was quick to sign up for it because it started from Strawberry Hill, where I like to buy peaches. I had worked my way up to a couple of 33 mile rides around Pendleton, so I signed up for the 40.

They started the 79 mile riders at 8 am and the 40 and then the 20 mile riders at 9. There must have been close to 100 in those two groups, looking more professional than the usual group when I was doing triathlons. I didn't notice anyone else with any kind of aerobars (used by triathletes but not by road bike riders--my bike is set up for both).

I put the cue sheet in my top tube bag, but I didn't look at it closely to know what to expect. For the first 5 miles I rode towards the end of the 40 mile group, passing people on the downhills and being passed on the uphills. But after 5 miles no one else was in sight. I saw a tandem fixing a flat tire and they later passed me, as did a few others who must have started late. By about 10 miles the sag car had settled in behind me, thankfully staying fairly far back but still making me very aware that I was bringing up the rear.

I fought with my feelings that they would be annoyed with having a slower rider and that I didn't belong because I had come alone and was slower than everyone else. The first 10 miles were on fairly busy roads with lots of sprawl, but after that it was beautiful. I didn't push too hard, I knew I was going farther than I had gone before and didn't want to wear myself out too early. I had folded the cue sheet in half and I finished the first half and so couldn't see what was coming up. It seemed forever to get to the rest stop--it was at 25 miles and I was running out of water. There were other people still there when I got there, which made me feel a little better--I wasn't horribly far behind everyone else. I filled up my water bottle and ate a banana.

There were times in the next 10 miles where I thought if there is another hill this bad (none were horrible) I will quit. I was struggling more mentally than physically; it was hard but not beyond what I was ready to do. I worried about things like whether there would be any lunch left when I got in. I was cheered by being passed by several groups doing the 79 mile ride, every one of whom said "good job" to me. Then the last 5 miles I caught up with three people, two of whom were waiting for their friend who was doing the ride on his mountain bike. I was so glad not to be alone at the end.

There was plenty of lunch left and it was excellent: green salad, chicken, corn and bean salad, and cut up melon. I sat down with some people who looked closer to me in age but didn't get into their conversation. Then they left and one of the people from the sag car sat down with me and told me how proud he was of me for completing the ride. Again I had to fight my negative thinking--was he impressed because I was overweight or looked like I was struggling that badly? There are plenty of riders my age and older, though the riders over 60 tend to look particularly fit. But I did hear the positive as well, that the people in the sag car had been thinking good thoughts about me and I was welcome even if I was slow. I averaged just under 12 mph, which is what I would expect on a long ride at this point. https://www.strava.com/activities/715515649