triggered

How does the child still inside come to terms with having been manipulated and compelled to do bad things to herself?

results of my survey

Arnold Schwarzenegger is planning to retrofit his Hummer to run on hydrogen. What do you think of this idea?

82 students picked a. This is a good technological fix--Americans aren't going to give up SUVs so we should make them more environmentally friendly.
13 students picked b. This is a foolish technogical fix--the Hummer is an example of the excess that harms our environment. We need to change our values and behavior, not think we can have it all.

Did I go too far in trying to phrase my answers so as not to slant the results? Or is it simply that student do think they can have it all?

consumerism

On Friday I talked to my classes about the technological fix , the idea that technology can solve all our problems. And today I ran across (thanks to Alex) an example of a bad technological fix that to me is as clear as the old one I have been using about giving free airconditioners to ghetto residents to prevent riots. Arnold Schwarzenegger is planning to retrofit his Hummer to run on hydrogen. What I wish I knew was how many of my students see the irony in that and how many think it a good idea. I'm doing an in-class survey today anyway (one of my teaching techniques in laptop classes)--I will ask them. Results later.

today

LET us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherised upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question …
Oh, do not ask, “What is it?”
Let us go and make our visit.

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

rainbow

I was feeling the child's fear of being abandoned today and someone who cares about me gave me more than I expected. Then this rainbow followed me as I drove for more than 20 minutes.

help

I was feeling like I was settling into the semester and things were calming down, but now I've fallen into feeling overwhelmed by my responsibilities again. There are research-related projects I need somehow to get done this fall, and I don't know how to put that on top of kids, household, marriage, teaching, and my own journey. Particularly when that journey is both back into intense memories and moving forward in my training to be a spiritual director at the same time. I have a feeling I need to not further organize myself but let go some control and trust God to lead me. But I'm scared whether anything will get done; I don't have a great record.

Faith

Akma speaks of his faith and points to a post by Kurt about suspicion of organized religion. I personally feel very torn on just the divide that lies between their two perspectives. I know I fall into cafeteria faith, picking and choosing the pieces that work for me (though mostly, like the labyrinth, from my own Christian tradition). I understand why it is desirable for individuals to give authority to their faith community, but I am not comfortable doing so. I'm perhaps reading in things Akma has said other times to make authority the issue, but I do see that as the key question about community--do I let the community tell me what is right? I let the community provide the story that makes sense of my experience, but in the end I won't let the community tell me anything is right that feels wrong in important ways to me. I know that the community truly lives only if we are willing to do that, but I don't have that much trust.