sigh

The program I run at work may be crippled by a new rule prohibiting the faculty version of overtime. The new rule was put forth as a response to serious budget cuts. But my program has enough money to offer the courses students need, even after the budget cut. However, we don't have the people to teach the courses unless faculty are allowed to teach overloads. If we don't get an exception to the new rule there will be several hundred students who can't get the course they need for their curriculum. Conclusion--never underestimate the stupidity of a panicked bureaucracy.

I'm not as stressed as I might be because I feel I have done everything I can. I am somewhat stressed by not having a decision. There are only two more school days before students start to register for courses for the spring, and I don't yet have a decision whether we can offer half the courses we have scheduled. And I'm sad that the program I have built and really believe in may go down the tubes.

treadmill

In the 4 1/2 years I have been running I have never run on a treadmill. But I'm at a conference and woke up early and when I went outside to go for a run it was raining. I'm at a hotel in suburban Chicago and I didn't have a hat or vest with me, and rain was just too much to face going out to run in an area I didn't know (with the hotel not giving me very encouraging directions about where to run). So I decided to try the treadmill. What I found, actually, was that I ran much harder than usual because that was the only way to combat boredom. I had the incline set on 1, not flat, so it wasn't that it was a lot easier. It was a long hour, but I will be more willing to try it again (particularly if I remember to bring my ipod).

good news

The bleeding my husband had in his eye turned out to be a benign kind that sometimes happens with age-related changes in the eye. The examination was not fun but no further treatment is necessary. So all is resolved more easily than I had feared. Still, it made for a stressful day and I had to miss my class.

iron distance

I'm thinking seriously of signing for Beach to Battleship next year. It seems like my best chance to live my dream of doing an iron distance triathlon. One person reports of the bike course:

From what I've heard, it makes IMFL look hilly. The low spot is near sea level, the high spot is +38ft.

Registration opens in early December.

I thought things are settling down with my husband and it is time for me to focus on doing things while I still can. But I just had to cancel plans for tomorrow because he has bleeding in his eye tonight and I need to take him to the doctor.

weekend

This is my last weekend at home for about a month. Our son is home from boarding school for a long weekend, but he mostly wants to veg out (play on the internet). When my husband was away for a week I had a chance to get into the flow of my time being my own. And I'm realizing I can do that even when I'm not alone, my life is different than when we had small kids. (Particularly when it is my husband's week to cook.)

So after a lovely bike ride with some friends this morning, I've been working through some piles of my stuff in the bedroom. But I've been working for five or ten minutes, then reading blogs for a while, then working on other projects (including my son's laundry). It isn't efficient but it is nice not to feel pressed, to work only as long as I feel like. I've gotten some things done that I've avoided for a long time.

But what should I do with this??

It is a costume I made for a ritual I did probably about 8 years ago (I wore bike shorts underneath). That ritual was an important first step in coming to accept my body. If I hadn't done that work (and followed up with a movement therapist for a couple of years) I wouldn't have been able to transform myself when I was diagnosed with diabetes and become an athlete.

I don't have any pictures of the ritual--I have the costume and a long scarf I made (five 3x3 ft. thin silk scarves sewed in a line into a rainbow). I suppose the scarf is enough to remember it by but it is hard to let go of the costume.