Ok, I can't resist posting a link to this bicycling humor. That isn't the original version of the picture, but I like the added Oscar Meyer logos.
A few hours later she wrote:
Out of something like despair -- also frustration trying to fit the things I made for B. into the refrigerator -- I mixed up a mud-pie mess from some of the special (and pricey) flours I bought when Dr. S. told me she wasn't eating wheat anymore...before she told me she was, in fact, eating only quinoa flour. I threw in some caraway and sesame seeds that I suspect might be stale. And I'm baking this mess up for the squirrels, who I hope will eat it.
Several days later she wrote:
They haven't touched it yet. But that may just mean they haven't found it. I don't put food out regularly -- the occasional burnt cookies or fallen cake -- so they don't hang out, though they mostly find what I've left.
I have, this morning, made another squirrel cake, with a bag of expensive, mail-ordered chick pea flour. This shelf-full of alternative grains that she rejected almost as soon as they arrived is seeming to represent all that I wish for from her and can't ever get or count on... The squirrels like it fine.
It was so much easier going back the second time at least knowing where to go and having a little bit of a routine. Sometimes I just couldn't keep track of everything--if I paid attention to kicking fast and putting my hands in the water in the right direction I forgot to watch for the flags that warned me of the end of the lane (that was the backstroke so I didn't even need to worry about coordinating my breathing at the same time). Sometimes when I was swimming freestyle it would begin to come together for a few strokes and then I would get a mouthful of water and stop, sputtering. I realized afterwards swimming requires coordination, unlike bicycling or running. But I have a sense of making a little progress, so I have hope.
One of the swimmers is an organizer of a local group of women training for triathlons (someone told me they range in age from 24 to 52). So now I need to get their schedule.